The hard cell: should cellphones be allowed in clubs?

It’s Saturday night and I’m on the dancefloor of one of the South Coast’s most on-point clubs. As the DJ drops a particularly tasty disco number, I reach into my pocket, grab my phone and hit the Shazam button. As the circular logo spins around, desperately trying to identify the track with very little 3G signal, a bright light shines in my face. A big, burly bouncer points a torch in my direction and grunts “no phones on the dancefloor please,” before directing my attention to a sign on the wall that reads “This is a no phone/no photo event. If you’re caught using your phone you will be asked to leave.”

For some time now the smartphone has been the ultimate drain on people’s attention. Everyone knows that feeling, when you’re trying to tell your girlfriend/boyfriend/mum/stranger at the bus stop about your weekend or day at work and their complete lack of interest is signalled by them reaching into their pocket, grabbing their phone and beginning to scroll with their thumb as they vacantly stare at the glowing screen, rather than you, the fellow human being standing directly in front of them. And don’t get me started on the use of mobile phones in the cinema. The white-hot anger it elicits in me would be considered as something of an overreaction by the Incredible Hulk. But is completely banning mobile phones in clubs really the answer?

Plenty of people seem to think so. Venues like Berghain and Trouw (RIP) have long-standing bans on phone photography, as much fuelled by the fact that a lot of the things you get up to in the club might not be suitable for Instagram posts as by a wish to protect the clubbing experience, while DJs including Jackmaster have complained via Twitter about having phone camera flashes going off in their face while they’re DJing.

But doesn’t introducing strict rules you have to follow (or else) in clubs go against the intrinsic nature of partying? Clubs are meant to be spaces where you’re free to do as you want, and having irate door staff giving you a hard time on entry, shouting at you in the queue for the toilets or, if you’ve had the misfortune of visiting a glitzy West End hell hole of a weekend, telling you you can’t have a drink on the dancefloor, can taint your experience. Do we need them having a go at us for using our phones too?

While on the one hand, keeping phone use to a minimum in the club can help enhance the night, allowing you to forget about whatever’s going on in your Twitter feed, clubbing isn’t an experience like the cinema, or going to the opera that demands total silence and 100 per cent of your attention throughout. You dance for a bit, you get a drink, you chat to your mates; then you might grab your phone to Shazam a track, take a snap or text Gary to find out why he’s been in the smoking area for 40 minutes. Do you really deserve a torch in the face and indignant grunt for doing any of these things?

Maybe the answer’s somewhere in the middle. At Phonox in London they’ve introduced a policy of asking punters to avoid reaching for their phones on the dancefloor, specifically aiming to avoid persistent filming, with owner Andy Peyton telling us, “We’re not trying to be militant or make a statement. The club is just a nicer place without camera flashes on the dancefloor. We hand out cards on entry explaining why.”

Let your crowd know the score beforehand, and if you need to use your phone, just slip away to the bar. Everyone’s happy. Then again, as far as we’re concerned, anyone caught on Candy Crush in the club should be banned for life.